I feel so guilty about my c-section birth :(?

I feel so guilty about my c-section birth :(? My baby is 3 months old now and I feel so guilty when I think about his birth :( I'm 25 years old and h...

I feel so guilty about my c-section birth :(?
My baby is 3 months old now and I feel so guilty when I think about his birth 🙁 I’m 25 years old and he is my first child. I had been in hospital frm 32 weeks onwards until his birth at exactly 35 weeks. They kept me in because of my blood pressure and protein +3 and +4 in my urine at the time. I guess I had listened to to many stories saying they keep you in over anything and you’d be better at home resting etc so I was not happy being in hospital at all.

At 35 weeks .. They said I had very high blood pressure, I was on Trandate a blood pressure medication and my protein was +4. I complained to my mother when she came to visit that id probably feel better at home and the nurse had come round while she was there and said my blood pressure was very high etc. What I only found out recently was that she had complained to a doctor that my blood pressure was very high and they weren’t doing anything about it and should deliever the baby etc.

That night (after she had said this) I was a little shivery and my blood pressure was high again I told the nurse how i felt and long story short I had a c-section at 35 weeks. My baby was under 5 pounds, needed a little oxygen and was in special care baby unit for 3 weeks being tube fed etc. It broke my heart to see him cry when they were taking bloods or putting a tube down his nose.

I feel like this is MY fault. My baby suffered because I was not patient enough to wait until 37+ weeks. I’m also angry at my mother for saying what she said. I know I had pre-eclampsia in the end but I’m also sure with blood pressure meds being upped to a higher dosage i would of got to 37 weeks and maybe they would have induced me and i could of had an nature birth 🙁

This is on my mind every day. One of my questions is am i being hard on myself being guilty (honest answers) and also i feel like i will be punished in the future cos i had a c-section at 35 weeks and maybe i wont be able to have more kids 🙁

Thank you in advance to everyone who answers xxx

Best answer(s):

Answer by K
“long story short”

…er, you left out the pivotal part of the story?

But it seems rather unlikely that you were induced at 35 weeks because you mentioned being a little shivery, also rather unlikely that your mother clucking at the doctor had anything to do with anything.

Answer by maya
I know how you feel my baby was born at 35 weeks too and in NICU for 3 weeks it was heartbreaking. But, your baby is healthy now and I promise he doesn’t even remember being in NICU and all those pokes. You did what you had to do and got him here (maybe it wasn’t completely ideal timing of course 2+ weeks would have been better). And just because you had a csection doesn’t mean you can’t have more kids, and most hospitals offer the possibility of a VBAC. Stop being so hard on yourself mama I’m sure your doing great 🙂

Answer by megan.malloy
you are being much to hard on yourself. If you would have waited longer you could have suffered stroke from your high blood pressure, leaving you unable to care for your little girl.

I had a c-section too, I had twins and they recommended it because one was upside down. I still feel cheated from their birth but in the end, it doesn’t matter how they arrive, as long as they are healthy and you are both safe.

My babies were in the NICU for awhile also so i know how you feel. They are now 11 months old and no worse for the wear. You are traumatized from seeing your little one get their blood drawn, etc. she doesn’t even remember.

Answer by HEY K
dont feel bad.u did ur best and wat u thought was ur best.u hav ur child in ur arms.thats wat counts

Answer by Pepita
Don’t feel bad. I’m sure the doctors would have done what they did regardless. Their main concern is what is best for you and the baby, so they will act according to that. It is not your fault that you were not well during the end of your pregnancy and it would break any mother’s heart to see things like that happening to their child (I nearly cried when they took my daughters blood the day after she was born). I’m sure it will be perfectly possible for you to have a normal healthy pregnancy again (you can consult with your doctor about your concerns before trying for the next one). Do not feel bad, there is nothing you could have done. Your baby is alive and well now, as are you. The doctors did what they had to do. Now enjoy your little guy!

Answer by cheezewhiz
No guilt necessary here. You made sure that you and your baby would both be ok. I’ll bet when he is older he won’t remember a thing about his birth- but he’ll sure remember his Mom- cause she ain’t dead! Be happy and celebrate!!

Answer by ▅ Julie ▅
You did what was right for you and your son. Nothing you did was wrong. The doctor wouldn’t have done a c-section at 35 weeks if it wasn’t necessary anyways. You are being entirely too hard on yourself! Also, don’t think for one minute that you won’t be able to have any more kids after your c-section. All three of my children were c-sections. My doctor told me that I could probably have one more, but he wouldn’t suggest any more than that because of the scar tissue.

Just remember that everything worked out fine. He’s healthy and happy. Just quit worrying all the time and enjoy your son. He’ll grow fast!

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